Recently, I've been a martyr in one of my close relationships. Yes, the person did me wrong. Yes, I have every right to remove this relationship from my life. But, I don't have to roll around in that person's wrongness. The Lord has really convicted me about my high-horseness in this matter. During this period, have I loved this person the way I should have? No. They have let me down. But, I let them down, too.
I have a couple of people in my life that are really being troublesome. Yesterday, I broke down and was crying to God about it. I was complaining that He gave me these knuckleheads to deal with, but not the strength to deal with them. He lit up my heart with the fact that I really haven't been bringing these issues to Him. I have been trying to deal with them myself.
I do this way too much. I think that I am supposed to be able to do it all. Arrogance is what it really is. I take on too much and don't do any of it really well. So, back to basics. I've gotten off track and He is jerking me back on. Thank the Lord. It takes so much energy to work against God's plan for my life. The more I work against it, the more stressed out and I get and the less clear my path is. I am relaxing into humility right now and realizing I don't have to be all that, all the time. What a relief!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, September 6, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Rambling Update
I got the word yesterday that I have a little over two weeks before I get induced. This is a two-edged sword. I am the type of person who would have my baby at home, if I could. I'm high-risk in multiple categories, so I couldn't. I insisted on the least amount of ultrasounds and forewent the amniocentisis.
However, in addition to the medical conditions that I started out with, I've developed pre-eclampsia and so, will have to be induced at 37 weeks. Besides a c-section, inducement is a worst-case scenario for me. Extremely difficult to do without an epidural (I'm going to try, but I'm not going to be a hero), and it tends to lead to more and more intervention...more difficult delivery, forceps, vacuum, and in almost all cases, the aforementioned epidural. Not to mention, a higher incidence of the dreaded c-section.
I have had a difficult pregnancy and it is a miracle that my Little Man has made it this far. My high-risk doctor performed my final ultrasound (grand total of 3, one was an emergency in month two) yesterday and said that my son looks like a million bucks. But, the longer he stays in, the more dangerous it becomes for him. So, inducement in two weeks, while not my dream situation, it is the best thing for baby. The only intervention I've managed to escape is the amnio. Usually when a baby is induced before 39 weeks, they require one. But, since they are going to take him at 37 weeks no matter what, it is not necessary. Score one for Momma.
During this gestation, I've had very limited energy. I've had about two good workable hours most days. Some, I haven't gotten out of bed, except to go to the bathroom every hour. So, I've had to streamline my activities. I am also getting a sense of a new set of priorities. I guess I'm going through the transition from Mom-to-be to Mom-in-living-color. Since I've had limited workable hours, I've focused on my home and family almost exclusively. No journaling, no working on my novel, no socializing (almost none), and very little blogging.
I have been doing a wee bit of writing, though. I've outlined a book (working five minutes at a time, here and there) on my family's frugal lifestyle. I got the idea when my sister came to visit last month. She commented on what a high quality of life we had on such a little bit of money. I even sent her home with a tip that will save her two dollars every time she goes to Starbucks (that really impressed her.) So, little by little, I started taking notes on strategies we've developed over the last six years of marriage. I was stunned when my outline reached three single-spaced pages. I had never thought about our lifestyle in a structured way before, but we have amassed quite a stash of frugal knowledge.
I've been amazed at how happy I am when I am working on this project. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy writing fiction. But, I never have had the feeling that I was doing anything important. But, with this project, I feel that I could have a true, positive impact on a lot of families who are going through tough times. Not to get too mushy, but I think that Little Man's impending arrival has refocused my energies and I, too, am going through a birth, of sorts. I hope it sticks.
However, in addition to the medical conditions that I started out with, I've developed pre-eclampsia and so, will have to be induced at 37 weeks. Besides a c-section, inducement is a worst-case scenario for me. Extremely difficult to do without an epidural (I'm going to try, but I'm not going to be a hero), and it tends to lead to more and more intervention...more difficult delivery, forceps, vacuum, and in almost all cases, the aforementioned epidural. Not to mention, a higher incidence of the dreaded c-section.
I have had a difficult pregnancy and it is a miracle that my Little Man has made it this far. My high-risk doctor performed my final ultrasound (grand total of 3, one was an emergency in month two) yesterday and said that my son looks like a million bucks. But, the longer he stays in, the more dangerous it becomes for him. So, inducement in two weeks, while not my dream situation, it is the best thing for baby. The only intervention I've managed to escape is the amnio. Usually when a baby is induced before 39 weeks, they require one. But, since they are going to take him at 37 weeks no matter what, it is not necessary. Score one for Momma.
During this gestation, I've had very limited energy. I've had about two good workable hours most days. Some, I haven't gotten out of bed, except to go to the bathroom every hour. So, I've had to streamline my activities. I am also getting a sense of a new set of priorities. I guess I'm going through the transition from Mom-to-be to Mom-in-living-color. Since I've had limited workable hours, I've focused on my home and family almost exclusively. No journaling, no working on my novel, no socializing (almost none), and very little blogging.
I have been doing a wee bit of writing, though. I've outlined a book (working five minutes at a time, here and there) on my family's frugal lifestyle. I got the idea when my sister came to visit last month. She commented on what a high quality of life we had on such a little bit of money. I even sent her home with a tip that will save her two dollars every time she goes to Starbucks (that really impressed her.) So, little by little, I started taking notes on strategies we've developed over the last six years of marriage. I was stunned when my outline reached three single-spaced pages. I had never thought about our lifestyle in a structured way before, but we have amassed quite a stash of frugal knowledge.
I've been amazed at how happy I am when I am working on this project. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy writing fiction. But, I never have had the feeling that I was doing anything important. But, with this project, I feel that I could have a true, positive impact on a lot of families who are going through tough times. Not to get too mushy, but I think that Little Man's impending arrival has refocused my energies and I, too, am going through a birth, of sorts. I hope it sticks.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Other Blog
Just for fun, I've started another blog...here...it is about all the fun my family has saving money. I know that doesn't sound like much fun. We are southerners stuck in NY for a twelve year span. We have seven more to go. The cost of living is OUTRAGEOUS. We are not only trying to survive, but have enough money to finish college for ourselves, send Lil' Bit to college, pay off all of our debt, and buy a house down south when we leave. These are rather lofty goals considering our cash flow.
The only way to do it is to have an extremely tight budget. Budgets are no fun, but we've managed to make saving money a game. We all try to outdo the other in making a buck stretch. For example, The Big Guy bought a brand new bread machine at a yard sale last year for $1. Lil' Bit bought a full-sized Sanyo keyboard for $8 two weeks ago. These are just two of our many, many frugal victories. Anyway, I started that blog to cheer our family on in our Low Falutin' ways. Stop by if you like to save a buck.
The only way to do it is to have an extremely tight budget. Budgets are no fun, but we've managed to make saving money a game. We all try to outdo the other in making a buck stretch. For example, The Big Guy bought a brand new bread machine at a yard sale last year for $1. Lil' Bit bought a full-sized Sanyo keyboard for $8 two weeks ago. These are just two of our many, many frugal victories. Anyway, I started that blog to cheer our family on in our Low Falutin' ways. Stop by if you like to save a buck.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Re-visiting the Anti in Anti-Perfection
So, I had a minor freak-out last night about all the things that I'm not accomplishing. My gentle husband had to remind me that the only thing I have to do, grow our son, is progressing nicely. Everything else is incidental. I love it when he puts things in perspective for me.
This was me two months ago...I am now officially humongous.
Taken about two hours ago.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Great Silence…broken
Since the Great Egg Fertilization of 2009, I've been reduced to about two, maybe three good hours of energy a day. I have been under a couple of deadlines that had to be met. Therefore, I have had to streamline my day to just the bare essentials. I did manage to finish my bookkeeping course on schedule. Barely. And my apartment no longer looks like Sid and Nancy live here. I can now resume my pleasure activities…writing, sewing, shaving my legs…oh wait, what?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Just Checking In
Hi All,
My computer crashed and I've been without the net for a week...aaaagh! I bought a netbook yesterday to fill the gap. It has taken me four hours to write this (tiny keyboard.) More to come....
April
My computer crashed and I've been without the net for a week...aaaagh! I bought a netbook yesterday to fill the gap. It has taken me four hours to write this (tiny keyboard.) More to come....
April
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