Recently, I've been a martyr in one of my close relationships. Yes, the person did me wrong. Yes, I have every right to remove this relationship from my life. But, I don't have to roll around in that person's wrongness. The Lord has really convicted me about my high-horseness in this matter. During this period, have I loved this person the way I should have? No. They have let me down. But, I let them down, too.
I have a couple of people in my life that are really being troublesome. Yesterday, I broke down and was crying to God about it. I was complaining that He gave me these knuckleheads to deal with, but not the strength to deal with them. He lit up my heart with the fact that I really haven't been bringing these issues to Him. I have been trying to deal with them myself.
I do this way too much. I think that I am supposed to be able to do it all. Arrogance is what it really is. I take on too much and don't do any of it really well. So, back to basics. I've gotten off track and He is jerking me back on. Thank the Lord. It takes so much energy to work against God's plan for my life. The more I work against it, the more stressed out and I get and the less clear my path is. I am relaxing into humility right now and realizing I don't have to be all that, all the time. What a relief!