Fight the Crazy

                                                                  photograph by Graur Codrin

I changed my weight loss ticker this morning.  I tell you what...I am my own worst enemy sometimes.  So, I had my weight loss goal as 100 lbs.  Do I need to lose 100 lbs?  No.  It is just a beautiful round number.  If I lost 100 lbs, I would be twenty pounds under weight for my age and height.  AND, I would be setting myself up for failure.  I mean this is goalsethigh, not goalsetimpossible.  I reset my goal for the high end of my healthy weight.  That brings my goal to 59 lbs.  Much more manageable.  Also, if I lose two pounds a week, I will have that licked in thirty weeks.  September 25.  That is four days after my 39th birthday.  Maybe I could crank it up here and there and make it by the 21st.  What a great birthday present!  Pray for me...please.

Large Mammal

photograph by Tom Curtis

That's right.  I've become a large mammal.  I had started to lose weight when I got pregnant.  Actually, the weight loss triggered my dormant fertility.  Blah, blah, blah - big fat mammal.  Anyway, I've decided to train for a 5k.  I am also going to track my weight loss on a little gadget on my blog.  I've now got to choose my race. 

Good Enough

Recently, I've been a martyr in one of my close relationships.  Yes, the person did me wrong.  Yes, I have every right to remove this relationship from my life.  But, I don't have to roll around in that person's wrongness.  The Lord has really convicted me about my high-horseness in this matter.  During this period, have I loved this person the way I should have?  No.  They have let me down.  But, I let them down, too. 

I have a couple of people in my life that are really being troublesome.  Yesterday, I broke down and was crying to God about it.  I was complaining that He gave me these knuckleheads to deal with, but not the strength to deal with them.  He lit up my heart with the fact that I really haven't been bringing these issues to Him.  I have been trying to deal with them myself. 

I do this way too much.  I think that I am supposed to be able to do it all.  Arrogance is what it really is.  I take on too much and don't do any of it really well.  So, back to basics.  I've gotten off track and He is jerking me back on.  Thank the Lord.  It takes so much energy to work against God's plan for my life.  The more I work against it, the more stressed out and I get and the less clear my path is.  I am relaxing into humility right now and realizing I don't have to be all that, all the time.  What a relief!